should i be happy? i mean, i think i should be…but why do i feel bittersweet? i guess i should be supportive, but it feels like i’m losing a friend.
anyways, dinner was alright…except i kind of got into an argument with my mom -_- it’s always school related…another reason why i can’t wait to go to college: my mom will stop nagging me about studying! she acts like i don’t study or something…sigh.
i ate soooo much :( i feel like a big fatso. boo.
why am i so creepy?! rofl. i can’t help it…:P hahaha
and calc homework sucks butt. i should go write some pages for art before bed or something. sigh, school…i hate you (:
finally seventeen. it’s weird, when i was like thirteen or fourteen i always wanted to be seventeen. now that i am seventeen, it’s nothing special haha except i can watch rated R movies now! “yay” this year is probably going to be one of the more uneventful birthdays i’ve had. when i turn eighteen i want to get a piercing and maybe a small tattoo…teehee.
i never thought a simple “discovery” that i made a few days ago would have such a big impact on me. God works in interesting ways. :) haha kind of adding on to an earlier post from yesterday…
after my “discovery,” i realized that i was once again settling and compromising. i realized that i was forcing things to happen because of what the world was telling me to do. i really wanted a relationship, i felt lonely, i thought there was something wrong with me because i didn’t have a boyfriend. i realize why it never worked out for me: God always became secondary.
after I made my discovery, i realized that there ARE guys that love Jesus and aren’t afraid to show it. it wasn’t just a myth (: i just haven’t found my Jesus-loving guy yet hahah
in my previous posts i mention wanting to grow closer to God and whatnot, but those were mostly half-hearted, empty statements. idk how but this discovery really impacted me and i’m really excited about making a real effort to have a relationship with God and meeting the person God wants me to meet.
i really don’t need a relationship right now since my main focus should be God and then school. i really want to enjoy senior year spending time with loved ones since i may not see a lot of them after i go to college.
i feel like i really did grow stronger and learn from my past experiences. it doesn’t even hurt me anymore because now i know that they weren’t the ones.
God is good all the time; all the time God is good. :]
oh & i think i’m a little obsessed with tumblr as i am writing this from my blackberry at barnes and noble bahahah but i just really needed to share teehee
i give up. i put myself out there, but if you’re not going to speak up then i’m done. i don’t think it’s meant to be anyways. i realized that i compromised once again even though i said i wasn’t going to. God should always be first.
i’m young and i’m going to meet tons of new people in my life. i can’t wait til college. just a little longer.
I’M SO SICK OF SCHOOL ALREADY! can i just go to college now please? PLEASE. i’m ready to go! blah, i’m not excited to be a senior. i gotta go take my senior pictures, study for SAT I&II, work on my apps, my portfolio, blah blah blah.let’s just fast forward a year pwease<3
it wasn’t too bad, a little boring but i was happy to see all my friends again. :] i can’t believe i’m a senior even though i’m ready to go to college. i saw some freshmen today and it made me think of my first day of high school haha time flies. i already have a ton of stuff to do -_- i worked on my art book all day today and now i’m exhausted. i hope this semester goes by quickly.
feeling really uninspired. i’ve reached a dead end with my college personal statements and my artwork. i like to look through lookbook.nu and weheartit to help inspire me, but tonight wasn’t too successful. & i’ve wasted 6 sheets of film on my instax mini :( booo.
so, hongdae is famous for it’s night scene with the clubs and bars and whatnot, but i went to hongdae during the day to check out the Free Market. the Free Market is a little market at a playground where the hongdae art students or other artists gather on saturdays to sell their work and little crafts that they made. i fell in love with it! it was really artsy; there were musicians playing and i just really liked the atmosphere. if i lived in korea, i’d want to go to hongdae for college. i bought a cute ring made out of popsicle sticks and a really pretty bracelet for myself and i got a cute bracelet and a little bag for my sister. all of the stuff there is handmade and it was just really inspiring. i just wish i had found out about it earlier so i could’ve gone with friends. :(
here’s a picture of what i got:
(ignore my face pwease :P)
i love that it’s all handmade and unique cause in korea all of the accessory stores sell the same exact things. okay, i’ll stop rambling about my obsession with the free market. :] anyways, i’m really homesick. :( i miss my house, especially my room and having privacy. cause here my family shares a room. -_- but i guess it’s good family time? haha i miss my friends :/ and i miss the FOOD! after a few weeks in korea i ALWAYS start missing the food. i mean korean food is really good, but i still love american food! i really want some chipotle, village inn, chili’s, subway, cheese fries, real mcdonalds (teehee), sweet tea, etc…:D i can’t believe school starts in ten days…i’m really unprepared for this year because i was in korea for 90% of the summer. -_- i have to finish my summer reading, work on my IB art book, work on college apps and my portfolio, get back to volunteering, and somehow boost my ECAs. AHHHH. :( Lord, help me! sigh… maybe i should go do something productive now…:P